


Dinner for one

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dinner for One, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinner for one is a german Sketch Comedy show about a young lady called Miss Sophie and her butler James. As every year she celebrates her birthday with her four friends who passed a away since years.<br/>The show gets aired every year at New Years Eve on several german channels.<br/>In honor of the 50th birthday of the show I decided to write a SNK version of it containing Erwin as the Role of Sir Smith and Levi as his butler.<br/>The version is on script style but I hope you will like it anyway.<br/>I wish you a new year!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner for one

Levi: Good evening, Sir Smith, good evening.  
  
Sir Smith: Good evening, Levi.  
  
Levi: You are looking very well this evening, Sir Smith.  
  
Sir Smith: Well, I am feeling very much better, thank you, Levi.  
  
Levi: Good, good...  
  
Sir Smith: Well, I must say that everything looks nice.  
  
Levi: Thank you very much, Sir Smith, thank you.  
  
Sir Smith: Is everybody here?  
  
Levi: Indeed, they are, yeah. Yes... They are all here for your anniversary, Sir Smith.  
  
Sir Smith: All five places are laid out?  
  
Levi: All laid out as usual.  
  
Sir Smith: Miss Hanji?  
  
Levi: Miss Hanji, yes, she's sitting here this year, Sir Smith.  
  
 _No one except Sir Smith is seated at the table as Levi indicates where the four invisible guests are seated._  
  
Sir Smith: Admiral von Zacharius?  
  
Levi: Admiral von Zacharius is sitting here, Sir Smith.  
  
Sir Smith: Ms. Ral?  
  
Levi: Ms. Ral I put round here for you.  
  
Sir Smith: And my very dear friend, Mr. Bossard?  
  
Levi: On your right, as you requested, Sir Smith!  
  
Sir Smith: Thank you, Levi. You may now serve the soup.  
  
Levi: The soup, thank you very much, Sir Smith, thank you. They are all waiting for you. Little drop of mulligatawny soup, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: I am particularly fond of mulligatawny soup, Levi.  
  
Levi: Yes, I know you are.  
  
Sir Smith: I think we'll have sherry with the soup.  
  
Levi: Sherry with the soup, yes... Oh, by the way, the same procedure as last year, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: Same procedure as every year, Levi. Is that a dry sherry, Levi?  
  
Levi: Yes, a very dry sherry, Sir Smith... very dry. Straight out of the cellar, this morning, Sir Smith.  
  
 _Levi goes around the table pouring sherry for each guest. Then he walks over to the serving bar with the sherry bottle, tripping on the tiger rug head as he does so. He puts the bottle down and goes back to the table, standing behind the chair where Miss Hanji is supposedly seated. He lifts Miss Hanji's glass and makes a toasting gesture towards Sir Smith, who also has a glass in his hand._  
  
Sir Smith: Miss Hanji!  
  
Levi: Cheerio, Sir Smith!  
  
 _Levi takes a drink for Miss Hanji._  
  
Sir Smith: Admiral von Zacharius!  
  
Levi: Ad... Must I say it this year, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: Just to please me, Levi.  
  
Levi: Just to please you. Very good, yes, yes... Skol!  
  
 _Levi drinks and clicks his heels together as he says "Skol!" and reacts in pain._  
  
Sir Smith: Ms. Ral!  
  
Levi: _(in falsetto voice)_ Happy New Year, Erwin!  
  
Levi drinks the entire glass for Ms. Ral.  
  
Sir Smith: And dear Mr. Bossard!  
  
Levi: _(in a deep voice)_ Well, here we are again, old lovely...  
  
Sir Smith: You may now serve the fish.  
  
Levi: Fish. Very good, Sir Smith. Did you enjoy the soup?  
  
Sir Smith: Delicious, Levi.  
  
Levi: Thank you, Sir Smith, glad you enjoyed it.  
  
 _Levi hobbles over to the serving bar, once again stumbling over the tiger head. Takes the fish over to Sir Smith._  
  
Levi: Little bit of North Sea haddock, Sir Smith.  
  
Sir Smith: I think we'll have white wine with the fish.  
  
Levi: White wine with the fish? The same procedure as last year, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: The same procedure as every year, Levi!  
  
Levi: Yea!  
  
 _Levi goes over to get the white wine, once again stumbling over the tiger head. He gets the wine bottle and fills each person's glass. As he pours for Miss Hanji, he has an imaginary, silent conversation with Miss Hanji, then pours him some more wine as if it had been requested. As he takes the bottle back to the serving bar he fails to stumble over the tiger head, provoking laughter from the studio audience. Then he heads back to the table and stumbles over the tiger head._  
  
Sir Smith: Miss Hanji!  
  
Levi: Cheerio, Sir Smith, me boy.  
  
 _Levi drinks the wine from the glass of each guest as he toasts/greets Sir Smith._  
  
Sir Smith: Admiral von Zacharius!  
  
Levi: Oh, must I, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: Levi, please!  
  
Levi: Skol! Clicks heels together and again reacts in pain.  
  
Sir Smith: Ms. Ral!  
  
Levi: Happy New Year, Erwin boy!  
  
Sir Smith: Mr. Bossard!  
  
Levi: You look younger than ever, love! By gum, you look younger than ever, luv, younger than ever! Ha, ha, ha...  
  
 _Levi is now showing the effects of his many toasts, weaving about and hesitating as he rounds the table. He takes Sir Smith's plate._  
  
Sir Smith: Please serve the chicken!  
  
Levi: Ya...  
  
 _Levi stumbles over to the serving bar, tripping over the tiger head. He brings the chicken to Sir Smith, wobbling as he does so._  
  
Sir Smith: That looks a very fine bird!  
  
Levi: That's a lovely chu... chuk... chicken, that I'll tell you, a lovely...  
  
Sir Smith: I think we'll have champagne with the bird!  
  
Levi: Champagne, ya... Same, same prosheeed-ure as last year, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: The same procedure as every year, Levi!  
  
 _Levi stumbles over to the serving bar for the champagne, again tripping over the tiger head. He pours champagne for each person, now wobbling and weaving even more than before._  
  
Levi: Sophie, me boy...  
  
Sir Smith: Admiral von Zacharius!  
  
Levi: Must I, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: Levi!  
  
Levi: Schkol!  
  
 _Levi tries to click his heels but misses and dances about for a moment._  
  
Sir Smith: Ms. Ral!  
  
Levi: Happy New Year, Erwin, boy...  
  
Sir Smith: Mr. Bossard!  
  
Levi: It's one of the nicest little men... hic... one of the nicest little women, that's ever breathed, that's ever breathed... I now declare this bazaar opened! So forth...  
  
 _Levi makes a loud burping sound, then grabs Sir Smith's chair, almost tipping him over backwards. He somehow manages to take him plate of chicken over to the bar, stumbling over the tiger head as the plate flies up in the air._  
  
Levi: Would you like some fruit?  
  
 _Takes a fruit plate over to Sir Smith, zooming past him and half-way up the stairs, then back down to him._  
  
Sir Smith: I think we'll have port with the fruit!  
  
Levi: Oh, no! Sa... same procedure, sa... same procedure as last...  
  
Sir Smith: Yes, the same procedure as every year, Levi!  
  
 _Levi gets the bottle of port and returns, shakily, to the table. He has difficulty pouring the port, sloshing it all over as he attempts to pour for Sir Smith and his guests. Finally, he takes a swig from the bottle as he hops over the tiger head. He then returns to the table, wobbily._  
  
Sir Smith: Miss Hanji!  
  
Levi: Sugar in the morning, sugar...  
  
Sir Smith: Admiral von Zacharius!  
  
Levi: Schkol!  
  
Sir Smith: Ms. Ral!  
  
Levi: _(Spills glass)_ I'm sorry, Mister, sorry. _(Scoops the spilled port off the table cloth into his glass and drinks.)_  
  
Sir Smith: Mr. Bossard!  
  
 _Levi accidentally grabs a flower vase, removes the flowers and drinks from the vase._  
  
Levi: Huuhh, I'll kill that cat!  
  
Sir Smith: Well, Levi, it's been a wonderful party!  
  
Levi: Well, it's been most enjoyable.  
  
Sir Smith: And I, I think I'll retire.  
  
Levi: You're going to bed? Sit down, I'll give you a hand up, Mister.  
  
 _Levi escorts Sir Smith to the base of the stairs._  
  
Sir Smith: As I was saying, I think I'll retire.  
  
Levi: Ya... ya, ya. By the way, the same procedure as last year, Sir Smith?  
  
Sir Smith: The same procedure as every year Levi!  
  
Levi: Well, I'll do my very best!  
  
 _The two go up the stairs and disappear off-stage._


End file.
